


I Promise

by a_very_smol_frog



Series: The Crow's Nest [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Homelessness, Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_very_smol_frog/pseuds/a_very_smol_frog
Summary: Oikawa finally tells Iwaizumi his story.~This fic is set in the Crow's Nest AU. It is not a stand alone fic and I suggest reading the first part of the series (Student of the Sun) before you read this~
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: The Crow's Nest [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711909
Comments: 14
Kudos: 310





	I Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe one day I'll write something that doesn't hurt but today is not that day. 
> 
> I know I just finished Student of the Sun but I couldn't sleep so I stayed up till 2:00am writing this! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Oikawa Tooru was a lot of things. He was a huge pain in the ass, loud, picky, annoying, needy, and selfish. But he was also hardworking, tender, compassionate, insecure, thoughtful, and gorgeous. Those are the qualities that Iwaizumi got to see in hushed moments between the two of them when Oikawa felt safe enough to drop his armor. It was in those moments that Iwaizumi fell hopelessly in love.

Iwaizumi loved to watch Oikawa work. The brunette never failed to warm the hearts of even the most bitter of their customers with his killawatt smile. He played them like a fiddle, using his words and charm to pluck each of their strings and every guest left singing a happy tune and promised to come back soon. 

He loved to watch Oikawa with Rini. It was clear that the little girl had her god-father wrapped around her little finger. He would scoop her up into his arms and shower her with love and adoration every opportunity he got. The sight of Oikawa holding the little girl tight to his chest, swaying softly as he hummed a sweet tune until big blue eyes finally succumbed to the pull of sleep, never failed to make Iwaizumi’s chest ache with the hope of what could be. But Rini wasn’t the only one who had Oikawa wrapped around her little finger, her father did as well. 

Iwaizumi knew an abridged version of Kageyama and Umi’s past relationship, and now that the woman had reentered their lives the raven haired man seemed to be losing his grip, teetering on the edge of sanity. Like a good friend Oikawa was always there to steady him, doing everything in his power to help shoulder the burden.

Iwaizumi could appreciate that about Oikawa. The man was one of the most loyal people he had ever met, and once you were welcomed into his elite inner circle there was nothing he wouldn’t do for you, but eventually it started to make Iwaizumi uneasy. For the entire week Oikawa had been spending almost every free moment with Kageyama. Iwaizumi had seen the zombie like state Kageyama had been in when he came home after Umi had shown up at the school, he knew that the father’s mind wasn’t in the best state at the moment, but did Oikawa really need to be there every night?

He tried not to let it bother him, telling himself to stop being selfish, that Kageyama desperately needed his best friend right now, but the more he thought about that friendship the more it worried him. Oikawa very rarely talked about his past, it was like his life began the moment he met Kageyama and that he never existed before that point in time. Iwaizumi tried casually prying, dropping questions about Oikawa’s parents occasionally when his own were brought up, or asking about highschool and college, but the brunette managed to effortlessly change the subject every time. 

What was Oikawa hiding from him? Was he a runaway? A murderer hiding under an alias? Maybe he had been abducted by aliens and just couldn’t remember his life before (or maybe he should stop letting Oikawa make him watch alien conspiracy videos on YouTube). 

He had always been honest with Oikawa about everything. The brunette knew about his parents, his childhood, his hopes and dreams, but he felt like he only knew Oikawa on a surface level. Even though they had only been together for a few months, Iwaizumi knew he wanted a future with Oikawa Tooru in it, but maybe the other man didn’t feel the same way? What if he was just a passing phase and Oikawa was keeping him at arms length because he didn’t see a future with him? Did he really need Iwaizumi in his life if he already had Kageyama, someone who knew him inside and out and could fulfill all his needs?

Iwaizumi knew he should sit down with Oikawa and have a conversation about this. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions and ruin what they had, but everytime he tried to talk to Oikawa the other man was in a rush and their conversations were always clipped snippets in passing. At night Oikawa would be at Kageyama’s, unable to talk on the phone and slow to respond to texts.

Saturday morning Iwaizumi walked into the Crow’s Nest before his shift to find a half asleep Oikawa sitting at the front desk. When he heard the front doors open he shot up and plastered on a welcoming smile that was a little too tight around the corners, but when he saw it was just Iwaizumi his shoulders relaxed and the smile vanished. 

“Good morning Iwa-chan.” His voice lacked its normal peppy cheer and was clearly worn down by fatigue. Iwaizumi leaned over the desk and pressed a soft kiss to Oikawa’s round cheek, mumbling his own good morning.

“Are you still coming over to my place tonight?” There was a marathon of Oikawa’s favorite space documentaries on tonight, the brunette had had the date marked on his calendar for weeks. Guilt flashed in Oikawa’s eyes and Iwaizumi tried to swallow the bitter taste of disappointment in the back of his throat.

“I can’t. Tobio-chan needs me right now. If you DVR it we can watch it some other night, once all of this has blown over.” Iwaizumi did his best to not show his frustration but Oikawa had gotten good at reading every wrinkle and crease in his face and could sense that Iwaizumi was upset. The brunette reached out and laced his fingers with Iwaizumi’s, giving his hand a soft squeeze.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was thick with guilt and it made Iwaizumi’s chest ache. Oikawa was just being a good friend and he was acting like a spoiled child. 

“No it’s fine. Kageyama needs you right now. I’ll make sure I record it for you.” Iwaizumi leaned over and pressed another chaste kiss to the side of Oikawa’s mouth and pulled away from the counter. Clearly, his words did little to ease the brunette’s regret and he began to call out to Iwaizumi but the words died on his lips when he pushed through the doors to the restaurant.

~~~

Waiting tables wasn’t exactly what Iwaizumi had pictured he would be doing when he was 27, but here he was. He had gone to college in Nagoya for business and hospitality and after he graduated he landed a manager job with a casino in Tokyo. He enjoyed his life in the city. It was loud and crowded but he managed to carve out his own space, finding calm nooks and crannies between the bustling streets and crowds of people. He threw himself into his work and managed to climb the ranks fairly quickly, everything was going great but just like in gambling sometimes you get dealt an unlucky hand of cards. 

A new larger casino opened up a few blocks away from theirs and they saw their profit margin steadily decrease after its grand opening. Instead of taking suggestions on how to compete with the other business the owner began to silently shut down the casino behind closed doors. He started to hoard money in offshore accounts, draining all of his employee’s retirement funds along with any spare money he could skim without raising much suspicion. By the time someone in accounting noticed it was already too late. One evening they all received an email telling them that they had no jobs to return to in the morning, the building and all of its contents had been sold, the owner was living off their hard earned money on some island in the Caribbean, and that was that. 

Iwaizumi had poured years of his life into that business just for everything he had worked for to be ripped out from under him without any warning. After getting laid off he sat and took a good look at the life he had built for himself. He was almost 30 but what did he have to show for it? He had always been too wrapped up in his job to try and seriously pursue a relationship, always telling himself that after his next promotion he would take it easy and try and settle down. He was friendly with his coworkers but their aquantship never extended past the occasional drink after a long day of work. He had put everything into his job just for his boss to throw it all back in his face, showing Iwaizumi that he was just another expendable cog in the corporate machine.

After that Iwaizumi vowed to start living for himself instead of others. He packed up his apartment, sold almost all of his belongings, and with a single suitcase decided to move to whatever town the next train was leaving for. A two hour train ride later he ended up in downtown Sendai. For the first few days Iwaizumi just explored the city, he had enough in his savings that it wasn’t imperative he found a job right away. It was smaller than Tokyo but still had enough hustle and bustle that made it feel alive, not sleepy like the small farm town he had grown up in. 

He took the bus around the outskirts of the city and tried to find all of the hidden gems that were stowed away in the dusty forgotten corners. That's how he stumbled upon the Crow’s Nest. Compared to the large expensive hotels downtown, the bed and breakfast was quaint and cozy. It was nestled against the mountains, a short bus ride from the city but far enough removed that you could breath the crispy and clean country air. 

Iwaizumi found himself wandering back to the establishment often. The restaurant served some of the best agedashi tofu he had ever had in his life, but it was something else that drew him back through the front doors. The atmosphere was so different from what he had worked in back in Tokyo. 

The staff were attentive and friendly, but there was a relaxed air around them. They weren’t constantly bustling around trying to complete as much work as possible to out compete each other. Their customers knew them all by name and it was clear they shared a bond that extended past the walls of the bed and breakfast. The second Iwaizumi saw a help wanted sign hung up in the restaurant he applied and immediately he was grateful to his old boss. Sure, the old man screwed him over with his greed and self centeredness, but without that Iwaizumi would have probably never left Tokyo. He would have devoted his whole life to being a mindless drone for a company that didn’t give a rats ass about him. He never would have found his new home and the family he quickly began to treasure.

Every day wasn’t perfect. His coworkers got on his nerves, there were rude customers, the hours were long and tough on his body, but he felt more alive than he had in years. He had always found serving others fulfilling work, it was in his nature to care for others and he enjoyed seeing the smiles on all of their customer’s faces. Then his relationship with Oikawa began to blossom and he couldn’t imagine ever going back to his cold corporate life. Now that Oikawa was pulling away from him, Iwaizumi was scared of losing everything all over again. 

~~~

After a long shift Iwaizumi’s shoulders ached and the idea of a nice hot bath sounded heavenly. He made his way to the front desk to give Oikawa a quick kiss goodbye but there was no sign of the other man. While he was working he had managed to distract himself from the ball of disappointment that sat heavily in the pit of his stomach but now it grew 10lbs heavier knowing that he wouldn’t see his boyfriend until Monday morning. He turned to leave out the front doors but the sound of raised voices in Kageyama’s office made him pause.

“Tooru you’re being an idiot.” 

“I promise I will talk to him okay! But you need me right now an-”

“I’m not a child! I won’t break if you’re gone for one day. You care about Iwaizumi right?” Iwaizumi’s heart clenched in his chest. He knew it was rude to eavesdrop but his feet where rooted in place as he strained to hear Oikawa’s response.

“Of course I care about him! This is the first relationship I’ve had that feels  _ real. _ ” Iwaizumi let out a shuddery breath that he didn’t know he was holding in. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. He felt relief knowing that their relationship wasn’t entirely one sided.

“Then stop being an idiot! I will never forgive myself if I cause you to ruin the first good thing that you’ve had in a long time.”

“Tobio I have lots of good things. I have you and Rini and the busi-” Kageyama cut him off.

“Those aren’t the same Tooru and you know it. Iwaizumi is a good man, for some reason he actually likes you” Oikawa let out an indignant ‘ _ Hey!’ _ at that remark “and you’re screwing everything up. Sunday is your day off and you’re going to call Iwaizumi and beg him to let you spend the whole day with him. If you even think about coming here to check up on me I will go to your apartment and smash your BluRay set of the X-Files.” 

Oikawa let out a horrified gasp. Fox Mulder had been one of the reasons behind Oikawa’s gay awakening and had always been an idol and inspiration him. When he was younger after a night of drunken shenanigans Oikawa woke up to find a UFO tattooed on his hip with the words “The Truth Is Out There” printed underneath. Of course the idiot loved it. 

“You wouldn’t  _ dare. _ ”

“Try me.” Kageyama deadpanned. Oikawa let out a dramatic huff, seeing that he had been beat but clearly not pleased.

“Fine! I’ll call Iwa-chan right now.” Iwaizumi stood there for a few seconds in the darkened lobby before he jumped with panic. Oikawa didn’t know that Iwaizumi was in the room listening to their conversation but the second he called Iwaizumi’s phone would ring and alert the other man of his presence. 

Quickly, Iwaizumi scurried through the lobby and had barely managed to make it through the front doors when his phone began to ring. He didn’t pick it up immediately, technically he should be home right now so it wouldn’t be uncommon for him not to pick up on the first ring. Instead he jogged down the road to the bus stop and out of sight of the bed and breakfast, picking up the phone right before it went to voicemail.

“H-hello?” He answered breathlessly.

“Iwa-chan are you okay? Why do you sound like you’re dying?” 

“I was...on a jog when you called. What’s up?” Even though he already knew the answer.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for cancelling on our plans tonight and was wondering if I could make it up to you tomorrow? We both have the whole day off so I can come over in the morning. We can go to that cafe that serves my favorite milk bread and go see that new movie about the guy who gets stranded on Mars.”

“Why would I want to go eat shitty bread that's too sweet and see a boring movie about space?” In reality Iwaizumi wanted to do anything as long as it meant Oikawa would be with him but he had to act as normal as possible so the other man didn’t suspect anything. Oikawa let out a huff and Iwaizumi could see the pout forming on his lips.

“Rude Iwa-chan but I suppose we could go to that restaurant that has the yakisoba you like for lunch.” Iwaizumi hummed in acknowledgement, pretending like he needed time to consider Oikawa’s offer when in reality he would have agreed no matter what. The headlights of his bus approaching made Iwaizumi remember that he was supposed to be on a run near his apartment and would therefore not need to get on a bus.

“Fine. Just don’t come over stupid early. It's my one day off and I don’t want to get up at the ass crack of dawn.” 

“Iwa-chan no amount of beauty sleep is going to make yo-”

“I’m hanging up now. Goodbye.” Iwaizumi hung up the phone just as the bus pulled up in front of him. He felt a little better now that he was going to get to spend the day with Oikawa tomorrow. It felt good to hear the brunette say that he cared about him and their relationship, but Iwaizumi still felt uneasy. Even if Oikawa did care about him he still wasn’t being entirely honest and open with Iwaizumi. With a heavy sigh Iwaizumi leaned his head against the window and listened to the soft rumbling of the engine as the bus drove throughout the quiet side streets. Tomorrow. They would talk about it tomorrow.

~~~

Normally Iwaizumi wasn’t a late sleeper but the extra toll of his anxiety on top of his laborious job caused him to tumble into bed Saturday night and sleep like the dead well into the morning. It wasn’t until he felt a weight shift his mattress that he startled awake, eyes blinking rapidly against the sunlight streaming in through the window. Slender fingers worked their way into his hair, massaging and scratching his scalp and causing the tension in his shoulders to bleed away.

“Good morning sleepy head.” Oikawa crawled onto the bed and sat with his back against the headboard, pulling Iwaizumi’s head into his lap where he continued to run his fingers through the short spikey locks. 

“‘Mornin.” Iwaizumi mumbled. The warmth of Oikawa’s presence made him feel relaxed for the first time all week. He snuggled closer to the other man, wrapping his arms around his waist and burrowing his face into Oikawa’s stomach. The brunette hummed happily at the attention.

“My my Iwa-chan is awfully snuggly this morning.”

“Missed you.” Iwaizumi’s muffled response caused Oikawa’s fingers to stall. He didn’t want to make Oikawa feel guilty but it was the truth. Most would assume that Iwaizumi was a prickly standoffish guy, and to strangers he was, but with those he loved he was extremely affectionate. He grew up in a close knit family with four other siblings that were always in his space or hanging on him. He wasn’t confident in his words but he could always easily express himself with actions. 

“I’m sorry.” Iwaizumi shifted so he could crack one eye open and look up at the sorrowful frown that tugged at Oikawa’s lips. He unwrapped his arms from around Oikawa’s torso and pushed himself up so he was eye level with the other man and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“It’s fine. You’ve been busy.” Chocolate brown eyes flicked over Iwaizumi’s face, searching for any hint of malice or lies, and when he found none a small smile spread across his face. Halfheartedly Oikawa shoved Iwaizumi out of his space so he could slide out of bed.

“Iwa-chan has morning breath. Now hurry up and get ready so you can buy me milk bread!” 

~~~

Their day together was exactly what Iwaizumi needed to ease all of his worries. They spent all day wrapped around each other as they aimlessly wandered through the city, popping into any store that sparked their interest, not looking for anything in particular just content with exploring. Oikawa insisted on trying the milk bread at four different cafes, stating that it was for  _ science. _ They went around the department stores, dressing each other up in silly and ridiculous outfits, making it a competition to see who could come up with the worst one (Iwaizumi won when he put Oikawa in a 3-piece zebra print velvet suit). 

They went to the yakisoba restaurant for lunch and Oikawa was delighted to find that they had milk bread under the dessert menu. They decided to not go see the new movie, opting instead to go to Iwaizumi’s apartment and watch the documentaries he had recorded last night. 

That's how they ended up tangled together on Iwaizumi’s couch with several empty bags of popcorn and beer cans scattered on the coffee table in front of them. Iwaizumi sat propped up in the corner between the back of the couch and the arm with Oikawa draped over the rest of the couch, head in Iwaizumi’s lap. They were on their third movie now but Iwaizumi wasn’t paying attention to the screen anymore. He preferred to watch Oikawa’s face as it lit up in awe at the different planets and galaxies that flashed across the TV. The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, illuminating Oikawa’s features in brilliant golden and scarlet hues. 

“Are you spending the night?” Iwaizumi had heard Kageyama’s threat but if there was one thing he knew about Oikawa it was that the man very rarely listened to others. Oikawa must have heard the hesitance in his voice because the brunette flipped onto his back so that he could look up at Iwaizumi’s face.

“Do you want me to spend the night?” When Oikawa spent the night Iwaizumi knew that he was going to wake up in the small hours of the morning sweating to death because Oikawa was a clinger and would latch onto him like a baby monkey. He knew that he was going to have to deal with Oikawa’s pitiful whines in the morning because he hated getting up and could barely have an intelligible conversation until after his second cup of coffee. Iwaizumi knew Oikawa was going to take way too long in the shower, leaving him barely (if any) warm water after he was done.

But when Oikawa spent the night Iwaizumi got to see the brunette snuggle into his old college sweatshirts that were just a little too long in the arms and too broad in the chest and shoulders. He would wake up to the smell of Oikawa’s coconut shampoo and the feeling of his even shallow breaths against his collarbone. Iwaizumi would get to pretend like he didn’t notice that Oikawa had used a spritz of his cologne right on the inside of his collar so that he could smell Iwaizumi all day long. 

“Of course I do idiot.” There was no heat to the insult and Iwaizumi brought a hand up to cup one of Oikawa’s cheeks in his palm, swiping his thumb across the ridge of his cheek bone. 

Oikawa sat up and moved so he was sitting criss cross facing Iwaizumi on the couch.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been so wrapped up in Kageyama’s business that I’ve been ignoring you.”

“S’alright. You’re just being a good friend.”

“But I need to be a good boyfriend too. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not important to me.” Iwaizumi’s heart skipped a beat in his chest because Oikawa had hit the nail on the head.

“Am I?” His voice was barely above a whisper. He was terrified of the answer. Pain flashed in Oikawa’s eyes and then quickly melted into guilt. 

“Of course you are. D...did I make you feel like you weren’t?” Oikawa’s tone had turned fragile, like one harsh word for Iwaizumi would shatter him. 

“I just...I feel like you’re hiding so much from me. You don’t ever tell me about your past or your family. You always talk about Kageyama and sometimes I wonder if you even need me...it seems like you can get everything from him. I just want you to be able to trust me like you do him…” The confession hung heavy in the air between them but it felt like a weight had been lifted off of Iwaizumi’s chest. Oikawa looked down at his lap, gripping both of his knees with white knuckles. Iwaizumi reached out and took both of Oikawa’s hands in his own. 

“Hey I’m not mad...it’s just something I needed to get off my chest. I’m not giving up. I told you because it’s important to me because  _ you’re _ important to me. I want this with you...I want it so bad but I want to make sure it’s what you want too.” Oikawa pulled one of his hands away from Iwaizumi’s to wipe at his eyes. Iwaizumi pulled the brunette into his arms and held him tightly against his chest. 

“I-I’m so sorry Iwa...I never wanted you to feel like I couldn’t trust you or th-that I didn’t want this.” He paused to try and take a breath but it came in short ragged gasps. Iwaizumi rubbed soothing circles into Oikawa’s back and peppered the top of his head with tender kisses.

“Baby take a deep breath. You don’t need to panic. I’m not angry with you.” They stayed like that for awhile, Oikawa’s lanky form curled up tight against Iwaizumi’s broad chest while the latter slowly pet him until his breathing became even. Finally, Oikawa spoke again and he began to tell Iwaizumi his story.

“Up until middle school I was pretty unremarkable. I was a scrawny and spoiled rich kid who was too loud and bossy. None of the other kids liked me but I didn’t care because I thought I was better than them anyways.” Iwaizumi snorted, that was very on brand for Oikawa.

“Then in middle school I started to play volleyball and I was good. Like really good. My team kept winning and I was winning awards and trophies. I loved all of the attention. Suddenly I wasn’t bossy anymore I was being a leader. It was good that I was loud and opinionated because people wanted to listen to me. 

I got scouted by one of the best highschools in the country and was on the starting line up my first year of high school. My team members were just as good as I was and it looked like we were going to be unstoppable but then we met our match. It was another strong powerhouse team with a first year ace who was just as determined and unyielding as me. We fought so hard but we couldn’t beat them and we didn’t make it to nationals. After that I worked even harder so we could beat them next year but then we lost again so I worked even harder.” 

Oikawa paused to take a deep shuddery breath. Iwaizumi remained silent, content to allow Oikawa to tell the story at his own pace.

“My third year I was determined to beat him. I was the best setter in our prefecture and the captain of my team, I was not going to be a loser for the third year in a row. I devoted every spare second to practicing or watching old games. My body was telling me to stop but I didn’t listen, I was so overcome with rage and jealousy that I couldn’t focus on anything else. The day we went to play them to determine which team would go to nationals...I had slept maybe 2-3 hours that night. I could tell something was wrong with my knee but I ignored it. Halfway through the first set it gave out...I had snapped a tendon. 

All of my hard work...all of the team’s hard work was flushed down the drain because I was a selfish brat who didn’t know when to quit. After that I got depressed...really depressed. I stopped going to classes, stopped talking to my friends, I barely got out of bed. My parents were pissed that I had hurt myself. They had put me through a bunch of special training camps so I could get better and be scouted by Team Japan. They said that I had wasted their time and money.” 

Iwaizumi’s grip on the back of Oikawa’s shirt tightened. He was their son, not some race horse or show dog. They should have been watching him and making sure that he was taking care of himself. And even if they didn’t go to nationals, Oikawa still accomplished so much and they should have been proud of that. 

“Oh trust me it gets better. So during all of this there was another third year on the team who kept coming by and checking up on me. At first I ignored him but he was persistent and wouldn’t leave me alone. Sometimes he would come over and force me to watch a movie or play video games with him, other times he'd just sit there and do his homework or read a book, but he came back every day. He was the only person who didn’t treat me like I had shattered all their dreams or that I was broken. I wasn’t some child prodigy who had fallen from the heavens, I was just Oikawa Tooru, and it was  _ amazing _ .

His visits became the only good thing in my life. I had dropped out of high school and none of my other friends ever bothered to come check up on me or contact me once I left. My parents thought that I was a waste of effort at this point and pretty much ignored me. He was the only person who cared about me anymore.

Then my feelings started to shift from platonic to romantic. I didn’t realize it at first but one day something clicked and I realized I was a  _ raging _ homosexual. At first I was terrified. He was the only good thing I had in my life and I didn’t want to jeopardize that, but I was jumpy and on edge whenever he was around. He noticed something was wrong and eventually forced it out of me but instead of yelling at me or leaving he kissed me.

For a little while things were great. We kept everything a secret because we knew neither of our families would approve, but I was so happy. I started leaving the house again, I got a part time job, I even looked into finishing highschool…” Oikawa’s voice began to crack and he paused to collect himself but Iwaizumi had a pretty clear idea of where the story was going. He pulled his arms a little tighter around Oikawa and pressed a firm kiss to his forehead, silently trying to tell him that he was safe now. 

“T..they caught us in my room. My parents. We were making out on my bed...my hands were down his pants...They flipped and started screaming at us. My dad hit me hard and demanded that I explain myself. I opened my mouth...I was going to tell them that we were in love...that he was my everything b-but then he said that I-I had forced him to do it. That I was perverted and sick in the head and no matter how many times he told me to stop I wouldn’t listen.

I-I thought that me loved me...He was all I had and then he abandoned me. My parents kicked me out that night. They told me that I was no longer their son and they wanted me out of town by sunrise. I didn’t know what to do so I took a train to Tokyo, I thought that it would be easier to find a job there...a-and people like me...gay people were more accepted there. 

I was homeless for a while. I didn’t realize how expensive rent would be and how hard it would be to find a place to live. I got two jobs and saved everything that I could. I slept under bridges, abandoned houses, churches. I got a gym membership so I could shower every day and I had one duffle bag of clothes that I tried to keep clean. People aren’t very nice to the homeless...they avoid you like you’ve got some kind of contagious disease. I knew that if either of my jobs found out they’d fire me on the spot so I made sure to stay presentable.”

Iwaizumi’s heart ached in his chest. Oikawa had been so young and he was cast out by his family like he was trash. All he needed was help and no one even bothered to give him a second glance. He felt guilty because he knew he would have been exactly like them if he would have seen Oikawa sleeping on the streets. They were in Tokyo at the same time at this point so their paths could have crossed. Back then Iwaizumi paid little attention to anyone who wasn’t useful to him. He was too focused on his job to care about the problems of other people. He would have never taken the time to get to know the beautiful lost soul shivering on the streets.

“After a year I finally caught a break and saved up enough money for one of those super tiny lofted apartments. It was a dump on a bad side of town but I finally had a bed to sleep in and a roof to keep me dry. With more stability I was able to get better jobs and I landed a job as a waiter at this really nice sushi restaurant. I had to use a month’s worth of food money to buy nice clothes for it but I was able to quit my second job and still make enough money to live. 

A few of the other waiters were talking about how they rented a house and needed a fourth roommate. It still wasn’t nice but it was a million times better than where I was living so I jumped on the chance and moved in with them. For the first time since I had been kicked out things were finally starting to look up. Then I met Tobio…” Oikawa’s voice went soft and silence stretched between them again.

“He didn’t like me at first but I forced him to become my friend. I could tell that something was...wrong with him. He wouldn’t tell me but I had an idea. My roommates threw a big party in celebration of me moving in and I invited Tobio and his girlfriend. I could tell she hated me from the beginning. There was just something about her that screamed evil. I could tell Tobio was scared so I refused to leave their side all night. I made him come dance with me and...things got heated. Once the song was over she snatched him away and dragged him deeper into the house. By the time I found them she had beaten Tobio unconscious on my floor.”

Iwaizumi’s breath caught in his throat. Kageyama was around the same age as Oikawa and would have been 18 maybe 19 during all of this? At 18 he was staying up too late playing video games and trying to figure out ways to get out of his chores. They were so young and had already experienced so much pain.

“He was like me. A misfit that was cast aside by their family. No one had ever been there for me so I vowed to be there for him. He was going to leave but then she got pregnant and he went crawling back to her. I tried my best to keep an eye on him and support him but he was so damn excited about the baby that he didn’t even care about any of the abuse anymore. He kept going on and on about how they were going to be a happy family and this baby was going to give them a new start. I think you can guess how that went.

Rini was four days old when Umi abandoned her alone in their apartment for 10 hours. Kageyama came home from work to find her alone screaming in their apartment. Kageyama didn’t know what to do so he called me.”

Iwaizumi felt white hot anger flare up in his chest at the thought of Rini being abandoned like that. He saw her big blue eyes and heard her happy giggles and couldn’t understand how anyone, especially a mother, could turn their back on that sweet little baby girl. Behind the reception desk was a framed drawing of the entire staff that Rini had made on her first day of school. When he began working there the little girl made her father take the picture down so she could add Iwaizumi to it. ‘ _ He is a part of our family now and this picture is of my family, so I have to add him.’  _ And now at the end of the line was a stick figure with spiky black hair and green eyes, hand-in-hand with the others like he had always belonged there. 

“It was hell but we managed to work out a schedule where one of us was working and the other way home with her. We were dying but we couldn’t afford a babysitter or to quit out jobs so we just grit our teeth and worked through it. Then one day I got a call from a lawyer. My paternal grandmother had died and in her will she left me a shabby dilapidated bed and breakfast on the outskirts of Sendai. My parents told my family that I had become addicted to drugs and ran away from home but my father had never had a good relationship with his mother and must have not told her.

They tried to fight me for it but a drug test said that I was clean and in her will she left it to me so they couldn’t do anything. Tobio and I saw our chance to try and get out of the nightmare we were living and we jumped on it...We knew it wasn’t going to be easy but we had each other and we wanted to try and give Rini the best shot at a happy life so we left. And now we’re here and we did it. Our business is successful, Rini is happy, and we are surrounded by a good group of people who care about us. But now Umi is here and she is trying to take all of that away. Kageyama hasn’t told me the whole story but I know he lived with her for two years...he had finally escaped and now she is back. I just...I need to be there for him...and Rini too...they’re my family now and I can’t lose another family.”

For a long time they sat there in silence. Iwaizumi couldn’t even begin to try and think of something to say. He was in awe of Oikawa. The amount of strength and grit it took to survive what he had been through...Iwaizumi knew he would have crumbled. He felt an all consuming need to protect and treasure the man in his arms. Silently he vowed that Oikawa would never know another day of sadness or pain like that again. Iwaizumi promised to make sure he reminded Oikawa every day of his worth and that he would be loved until his dying breath. 

Iwaizumi had never been good with words but he dug deep to find the right ones to express the emotions bubbling in his chest.

“I...I’m not going to waste my breath and tell you that I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I can’t even begin to fathom what it had been like for you and saying sorry isn’t going to bring you any comfort or ease the pain you went through. Oika... _ Tooru _ I can’t change what happened back then but I can promise you something for the future. As long as you want me I’ll be here. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly I’ll be right by your side. I’m not good with words but I promise I’ll show you everyday...I’ll show you everyday how much I love you. 

Because I do love you Tooru. Even though you’re loud and bossy. Even though you eat like a five year old and are a conspiracy theory nut job. I love you because you’re thoughtful, hardworking, and kind. I love you because you’re  _ beautiful _ . Even in the morning when you’ve got bed head and bad breath you’re still the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen. You’re a good person and an amazing friend and I’m sorry that I was acting like a spoiled baby. I promise to make sure that you have a lifetime of happy memories so you forget what it feels like to be alone.” 

During Iwaizumi’s speech Oikawa buried himself in Iwaizumi’s embrace and his body began to wrack with sobs. Iwaizumi continued to hold him, a never ending stream of ‘ _ I love you’ _ pouring from his lips. He wanted to absorb all of Oikawa’s pain so that he would never feel anything but happiness ever again. 

Slowly Oikawa’s breathing steadied into shallow hiccups. He pulled himself out of Iwaizumi’s arms just enough so that he could lean up to capture his lips in a desperate and feverish kiss. Iwaizumi tried to match the pace. It was all teeth and tongue, it was the frantic kiss of a drowning man who was desperately trying to anchor himself to something so that he didn’t slip under the waves. Iwaizumi could be an anchor, or a shield, or a security blanket, or a  _ home _ . He would be whatever Oikawa needed him to be. 

They pulled away from each other gasping for air. Milk chocolate eyes looked into forest green to try and find any trace of a lie or deceit. Iwaizumi’s gaze never wavered, he would never bend, his love would never fade. Something akin to relief flashed across Oikawa’s face only to be immediately replaced by exhaustion. Wordlessly, Iwaizumi gathered Oikawa into his arms and carried him off the couch and into the bedroom. 

Oikawa sat limp on the bed while Iwaizumi meticulously undressed him. Every new inch of skin revealed received a kiss, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head Iwaizumi made sure that every part of Oikawa had been touched by his love. 

Iwaizumi found his biggest sweater and tugged it over Oikawa’s head, it swallowed the brunette but he relaxed into the warm familiar scent that now surrounded him. Iwaizumi led Oikawa into the bathroom, helping him brush his teeth and wipe the tears and snot off of his face. 

Once that was done they crawled back into bed together. Oikawa curled into his chest and Iwaizumi tried to cover every inch of the other man’s body with his own so that at no point during the night would he ever think he was alone. 

“Hajime…” Even in a pathetic whisper his voice sounded sweet coming from Oikawa’s lips.

“Promise...promise that you won’t ever let me forget that you love me.” Iwaizumi pressed a kiss to Oikawa’s forehead.

“I promise.”

“Promise that you’ll never abandon me.” Iwaizumi pressed a kiss to the tip of Oikawa’s nose.

“I promise.”

“Promise that you don’t think that I’m worthless and unlovable.” Iwaizumi pressed a kiss to both of Oikawa’s cheeks.

“I promise.”

“Promise that even when I’m old and wrinkly and ugly that you’ll still think I’m beautiful.” Iwaizumi couldn’t help but huff as he pulled Oikawa into a tender kiss. 

“I promise.” Satisfied with Iwaizumi’s oath Oikawa snuggled into his chest, fitting his face in the curve of Iwaizumi’s neck. 

“I love you Hajime.” Even though the roads that had brought them together had been rough Iwaizumi was grateful for them because as he laid in bed with Oikawa in his arms he couldn’t think of a universe without this. Getting here had been the hard part, but loving Oikawa came as easy as breathing.

“I love you too Tooru. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> I promise at some point I will write a purely happy fic for this AU...one day


End file.
